Tomorrow, I will be seeing through new eyes. I'm getting Lasik surgery done, assuming that I pass the last test of candidacy tomorrow morning.
Without glasses, I cannot read anything smaller than the "E" on the eye chart. And even it's a bit fuzzy.
To be honest, I'm nervous. I have always been anxious around doctors, and my body reacts poorly. I have vasovagal syncope, which means that I often faint in painful circumstances, such as getting a shot, slamming my finger in a car door, or banging my knee.
I also had a very bad experience at the dentist last year, which leaves me even more paranoid. First, I fainted after the dentist gave me the numbing shots. Then he and his assistant yelled at me for fainting. The procedure itself was an even bigger nightmare. My mouth was propped open for three hours, and I was fully awake while they yanked and hammered on my wisdom teeth. I do believe Tom Hanks had a more pleasant experience knocking his tooth out with an ice skate when he was stuck on an island in Cast Away.
I literally thought my jaw was broken. I was in intense pain for six months, had headaches and my teeth were incredibly sensitive to hot/cold temperatures. When I returned to the dentist, they didn't have any recommendations for the pain. So I proceeded to pick up my records, which they hesitated to give to me. (Until I mentioned my HIPAA right to view my records). The dentist called me the next day, yelling at me and saying that he didn't do anything wrong, and then he hung up on me. Very unprofessional.
So here's hoping that tomorrow will be a much better experience. No one will be there to hold my hand, which reminds me of when I was 5 years old and my mom took me to the dentist. She told me to put my animal-shaped erasers in my pocket, and squeeze them if I was scared or it hurt. Of course, the erasers were demolished into tiny crumbs by the end of my appointment. Maybe tomorrow I'll take something to squeeze that I don't mind if it gets ruined. Or perhaps the valium will take care of all my concerns.
Keep me in your thoughts, and I'll see you on the other side :)
What's your method of staying calm when you're nervous?