Tomorrow, I will be
seeing through new eyes. I'm getting
Lasik surgery done, assuming that I pass the
last test of candidacy tomorrow morning.
Without glasses, I cannot read anything smaller than the "
E" on the eye chart. And even it's a bit fuzzy.
To be honest, I'm nervous. I have always been anxious around doctors, and my body reacts poorly. I have
vasovagal syncope, which means that I often
faint in
painful circumstances, such as getting a shot, slamming my finger in a car door, or banging my knee.
I also had a very
bad experience at the
dentist last year, which leaves me even more paranoid. First, I fainted after the dentist gave me the
numbing shots. Then he and his assistant
yelled at me for fainting. The procedure itself was an even bigger nightmare. My mouth was propped open for three hours, and I was fully awake while they yanked and hammered on my wisdom teeth. I do believe Tom Hanks had a more
pleasant experience knocking his tooth out with an ice skate when he was stuck on an island in
Cast Away.
I literally thought my
jaw was broken. I was in
intense pain for six months, had headaches and my teeth were incredibly
sensitive to hot/cold temperatures. When I returned to the dentist, they didn't have any recommendations for the pain. So I proceeded to pick up my records, which they hesitated to give to me. (Until I mentioned my
HIPAA right to view my records). The dentist called me the next day, yelling at me and saying that he didn't do anything wrong, and then
he hung up on me. Very unprofessional.
So here's hoping that tomorrow will be a much
better experience. No one will be there to
hold my hand, which reminds me of when I was 5 years old and my mom took me to the dentist. She told me to put my animal-shaped erasers in my pocket, and squeeze them if I was
scared or it
hurt. Of course, the erasers were
demolished into tiny crumbs by the end of my appointment. Maybe tomorrow I'll take something to squeeze that I don't mind if it gets ruined. Or perhaps the
valium will take care of all my concerns.
Keep me in your thoughts, and I'll
see you on the other side :)
What's your method of staying calm when you're nervous?
